‘I want to support her but I feel unappreciated and honestly used’: Bride demands sister pay wedding catering costs and do her makeup after coldly excluding her from bridal party and ignoring her messages:

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 5, 2025 9:00 AM EST

There's something about special occasions—especially weddings—that transforms normally decent people into entitled royalty overnight. Sure, we've all heard of Bridezilla, a name as common as confetti and now nearly as feared as a tax audit. It's like the moment an engagement ring slides onto a finger, it activates the hidden gene: suddenly your sweet, reasonable friend or relative thinks you are all enslaved servants and your bank accounts are public wedding funds.

The classic song goes "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to," not "It's my wedding, all who know me shall bow down, open their wallets, and quietly surrender their paychecks and schedules." And yet, here we are. Every family seems to have at least one of these bridal monarchs-in-training, graciously "allowing" friends and siblings to carry luggage, throw cash at caterers, and construct elaborate wedding sets, all while being rewarded with a distant wave from a privileged bridal party throne.

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  • If you're lucky enough to be related to such bridal nobility, you may soon find yourself like the sister at the center of today’s story: paying for catering without even a seat at the most sacred royal table. Because why include your siblings in the bridal party when you can instead appoint them as unpaid wedding interns?

    Yes, weddings are important—love, commitment, happily-ever-after and all that jazz—but let's remember they're supposed to celebrate union, not unionize your loved ones because you use it as a hostile takeover of your loved ones' savings and weekends.

  • "Not included in sisters bridal party but being asked to help pay for catering"

    "I am very confused on the situation honestly she is very distant does not answer calls"
    via satura86

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I am an older sister and my younger sister is getting married soon. She has not included me in her bridal party but has asked me to help with set up do her
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  • makeup and even help pay for catering. I am very confused on the situation honestly she is very distant does not answer calls and will text back 3-4 days later.
    via Mountain-Dirt4285
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    via LittleBee80

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Lately it seems like she only calls to talk about herself and her wedding. I want to support her but I feel unappreciated and honestly used, she does not want me to be apart but I can pay for stuff?
    via Mountain-Dirt4285
  • Cheezburger Image 10475847936
    via Khosro

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • tropicsandcaffeine You should not pay for a thing. If your sister is old enough to get married she is old enough to pay for it. If she cannot afford the wedding she wants then she needs to wait and save up for it. You are not an ATM. You are not a servant. You are a family member.
    via tropicsandcaffeine
  • Tell her no. And save your money for something YOU would like. If any family complains tell them they are free to give her money.
    via tropicsandcaffeine
  • Original_Rent7677 Maybe I'm old and cranky but if an adult wants.to get married they should pay for their own wedding.
    via Original_Rent7677
  • Garden_Lady2 Tell her you believe her lack of response to even simple communications means she's not interested enough to receive handouts from you. You don't owe her anything. If this is how she treats you now, how bad could she get once she gets the money.
    via Garden_Lady2
  • LotusGrowsFromMud "I wish I could help you out financially, but I just didn't plan my budget for this year to account for expenses for your wedding. I can't afford to contribute for your catering. Sorry."
    via LotusGrowsFromMud
  • sewingmomma That's a big lol. I'll say something more diplomatic.
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  • The the straight up answer is no. You are definitely being used as an ATM. But certainly don't reply before 2!weeks.
    via sewingmomma
  • Live Western_1389 She shouldn't be having a bigger wedding than she can afford. I would not pay for the catering or do all that other stuff. Enjoy your status as a "guest" and don't work the wedding.
    via LiveWestern_1389
  • Lisa_Knows Best Don't do anything. Did you get an invitation? Just don't take her calls until after the wedding. Show up and be happy and supportive but you're not obligated to sacrifice your time or money.
    via Lisa_Knows_Best
  • thabacktwisty You are being used.
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  • Wander_Kitty Hahahahahahahaha No.
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  • 1000thatbeyotch Let her know how you feel. The bridal party can pay extra expenses if she needs funding. None of her wedding is your responsibility.
    via 1000thatbeyotch
  • Jerseygirl2468 For sibling, I would help them set up and do the make up, but I would not pay for catering. She can certainly do that herself, and if they can't afford it then they need to scale back. The only other option I could
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  • see is if you are planning on gifting her cash, you could tell her you will do that ahead of time so she can put it towards the catering, but that's it. And no more than you were planning on giving her.
    via Jerseygirl2468
  • Donna Noble222 She needs to put on her big. girl and do for herself...
    via DonnaNoble222
  • PhotoGuy342 Politely thank her for her offer to allow you and your checkbook to be a part of HER party but you'll have to decline.
    via PhotoGuy342
  • Be prepared for angry comments from her, her friends and your relatives telling you that family sticks together, stands up for each other and helps out when asked. Be prepared for nasty comments about how selfish you are
    via PhotoGuy342
  • And, after they've torn you a new one, be prepared for them to give you a second chance to come around to their way of thinking. And don't forget the checkbook.
    via PhotoGuy342
  • Ginger630 Tell her no. "I can't help.” That's it. Don't explain. She can pay for her own catering and makeup artist. Siblings are never obligated to pay for their other siblings.
    via Ginger630

Tags

family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt sister fiancé grandmother Father
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